


Duck You

by echolehane



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 05:23:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8433430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echolehane/pseuds/echolehane
Summary: Faith Lehane really hates her new ducking phone.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WillozSummers (SammieRie)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammieRie/gifts).



> Happy birthday Sam! 
> 
> Work is unbetaed, all mistakes are my own.
> 
> This was the product of a strange conversation and a late night. It's probably OOC, not canon compliant and not coherent, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Enjoy!

Faith Lehane didn’t like cell phones. 

 

Sure, she understood their practicality. Like a stake or a knife, they could make a great weapon if needed. They allowed someone to call for help, or for communication across long distances. Yeah, she knew they were pretty great. And other people seemed to love them. 

 

She’d never really been a fan of the idea of owning one, but as soon as Buffy had started begging, she was pretty much helpless against the blonde’s will. Not that she’d ever admit that, of course. No, her official reason was that she just wanted to get Buffy off her back about it. The other Slayer had been begging her for weeks now to get a phone, so they could communicate on patrols easier. Since deciding to split up and make patrol quicker, it’d been hard to get in touch with each other. Well, more like Faith had been hard to get in touch with. Buffy was perfectly fine, and so she told Faith. Many times, in fact. 

 

So that’s how Faith ended up in front of the cell phone display, fingers toying with the cash in her pocket as she stared at the various models. The cash hadn’t exactly been easy to come by in the beginning, but once she figured how to kick some ass at pool, it’d gotten easier. Buffy hadn’t asked where she got the money, thank god. Faith wasn’t sure what she would say if faced with that question. Technically she didn’t steal it.  _ Technically  _ she earned it. That was still in the good books with Buffy, right?

 

“Which one?” the blonde asked at her left. Faith turned to look at her, one eyebrow cocked. Yeah, cause she  _ totally  _ cared which one she got. She  _ definitely  _ understood the differences between the models. Honestly, all Faith wanted was to get the phone, satisfy Buffy, and get out of there. Stores made her uncomfortable. Maybe it had something to do with all the shoplifting in her past. Or maybe it was just the fluorescent lighting. She couldn’t be sure. 

“Don’t know,” Faith shrugged. “Don’t care.”

“C’mon Faith, you gotta have an opinion of some kind here. It’s a cell phone!”

Sure, those words might have meant something to Buffy, the peppy blonde from SoCal, but for the kid who’d grown up on the streets of Boston fighting for everything she’d ever needed? Yeah, that held nothing for her. 

“Seriously. How ‘bout you pick one, I’m gonna go check out the gardening supplies.” By gardening supplies, she meant the fence posts they could use as stakes, but Buffy didn’t need to know that. 

“Okay, I’ll pick.”

Faith started to turn away from the display, pretty much done with the whole thing, when a tight hand on her elbow stopped her. 

“But you’re staying here.”

Damn. So close. 

 

They managed to buy the phone and get all the way home without incident. Well, by incident, it was more like they managed to get home without Faith tossing the cell out of the car’s window. 

“You start getting to know your phone, alright?” Buffy started up the stairs, and Faith paused in the foyer. “I’m going to go change.”

Faith pulled the cell from where she’d tucked it into her back pocket and stared at it as Buffy ascended the staircase. Stupid little metal contraption. Buffy had already programmed in her number, and Giles’, and Willow’s, and said Faith could learn how to do the rest on her own. Faith had already tried texting, and discovered she hated it more than she hated the cell phone itself. And that was a lot. Why did she even need the phone, after all? She could just start patrolling with Buffy again, and just not get separated. Buffy could tuck her phone into her pocket and they’d be all well and good. It was  _ so  _ unnecessary. 

 

Faith tossed the device onto the sofa before sitting beside it and picking up the TV remote. Buffy may have wanted her to start using her phone more, but that would have to wait. Right now, there was crappy daytime TV to watch. It wasn’t as if she even liked the shows. But honestly, she’d take it over learning the cell any day. Why did people even need technological advancements? Faith was more of a classic kind of gal. Stakes, knives, old fashioned weapons were her choice, nothing newfangled. And now she was starting to sound like Giles. Great. 

 

Her phone went off after a couple of minutes, startling her. Faith mentally kicked herself as she picked up the cell, knowing it was stupid to be shocked by an electronic chirp. Vampires, demons, hell even Buffy shouting, nothing shocked her. But this managed to get the drop on her. Stupid phone. 

 

Her eyes skimmed over the small screen, recognising it as a text from Buffy.

_ How’s it going? _

Faith chuckled to herself, imagining Buffy in her room, trying to decide if Faith was actually using her phone or not. 

**Fine,** she texted back, proud she’d managed to get all the letters right. Sadly, she was pretty sure texting wasn’t part of the fabulous Slayer package. 

_ I can hear the TV. _

**So?**

_ You’re not actually using your phone, are you? _

Faith let one corner of her mouth drift up in a smirk, casting a glance over to the stairs. She half expected Buffy to be there, watching her, but the blonde Slayer was nowhere in sight. Deciding she couldn’t answer the question directly, she evaded best she could. 

**I’d rather be skating.**

_ Skating? _

Faith’s eyes narrowed at Buffy’s text. Sure, Buffy was practically queen of Shiny New Subject Changes, but this was left-field, even for her. She looked back, trying to see where their conversation had veered off course, and caught her mistake. 

Damn phone.

**Skating,** she tried to correct, but growled in frustration when she saw the final message. She was just about to type another correction when a text from Buffy came through.

_ I mean, I’d rather be patrolling, but skating is good too. Did you want to do that tonight instead of slaying? _

Oh, so Buffy was gonna be a smartass now? Just cause she was so good at working the phone and Faith was still trying to work out which key did what. 

**I meant slaying,** Faith typed carefully, making sure each letter was the right one before moving on.  **Ducking phone.**

Oh, fuck. 

_ Ducking? _

If Faith wasn’t mistaken, she could hear Buffy’s laughter even from down here, which meant the blonde was on her way downstairs, or she was finding this far too funny. 

**Ducking,** Faith tried again.  **The ducking phone changed the wild.**

There was another peal of laughter from upstairs, definitely closer this time. Buffy was on her way. 

_ This is hilarious. _

**No,** Faith typed angrily, sure that her speed was going to earn her more mistakes, but frustration winning over coordination. She was supposed to be the fucking  _ Slayer.  _ Where were her fine motor skills when she needed them?

_ Yes.  _

**Bo, it’s not.**

_ So I’m Bo now?  _

The chime of the next text joined the laughter coming from the top of the stairs, a constant giggle now as opposed to a sudden chuckle. Buffy was finding this far too amusing.

**Shit up.**

When Buffy’s giggles got louder, Faith heaved herself off the couch and marched over to the foot of the staircase, staring up at her sister Slayer. The blonde was sprawled over the top few steps, her body wracking with laughter, tears rolling down her face. Yeah, she was finding this  _ way  _ too funny. Still, even through her giggles, Faith watched as she raised her phone and sent through another text. 

_ Nope.  _

When her phone chimed in her hand, Faith was tempted to throw it at Buffy. Instead, she kept herself in check and managed to type out a response. 

**Fuck you.**

This only increased the volume and intensity of Buffy’s laughter, and she finally looked down and met Faith’s gaze. 

“You got one right,” she managed, through pants and giggles. “Well done.”

“Shut up,” Faith fought the urge to throw the phone again. Tossing it in the trash didn’t seem such a bad idea, though. 

“Don’t you mean shit up?”

Faith rolled her eyes. Why did she ever let Buffy talk her into getting a cell phone? What could she possibly have gotten out of it, other than making apparently hilarious typos that left Buffy in tears of laughter on the staircase? The temptation to get rid of the phone was strong. 

 

That night, however, Buffy managed to get them into the ice skating rink. The blonde was surprised when Faith told her she’d never been skating before. 

“Come on,” she slipped one hand into Faith’s as they stepped on the ice, and Faith sent a silent thank you up to the Powers That Be for blessing her with Slayer coordination. Any other human might have ended up flat on their ass. 

 

Through the night, she only managed to fall twice, where not even her Slayer powers could help her out. But it was worth it, skating there with Buffy, enjoying the time together. Even if the other Slayer did make typo jokes about every three seconds. Every time Faith swore, Buffy was there was an apparently very hilarious correction, and it would send her into peals of laughter each time. 

Faith figured if all her typos were gonna end this great, she might just have to start making them on purpose.

 


End file.
